Saturday, February 15, 2003

Eros, Agape, Philia


These are the three kinds of love--in case ya didn't know. Eros you have for a lover, agape for family and maybe all of humanity (if you are very good) and philia is for friends.

I went to see Talk To Her by Almodovar last night. I am crazy for his movies. I suppose what I love about them is that eros always drives people crazy but philia and especially agape-philia tends to save them in the end.

It is sort of our dream althogh we aren't aware of it--watch the sitcoms. The promise of perfect friendship is more alluring and more plausible and perhaps more entertaining than the promise of perfect romantic love. One the sitcoms your 'friends' have a never ending inexhaustible interest in your life. They are always available. Somehow you can meet them anywhere--even at work! And they even spend major holidays with you. Love comes and goes but the friends are there forever (unless they leave to go into making movies).

But Almodovar's vision of friendship is particularly beautiful and moving. Much better than any sitcom. The friends often end up together--their troubles bind them tighter than any joys they might have. I'm a sucker for that--a big sucker. I did love this movie. I cannot help but love all his movies.

(Not to mention that people get to go crazy all the time--another one of my deep fantasies--a world where strong emotions are a perfect license for craziness....which would probably amount to a non-technologized non-20th century American world...)

This movie is the first where the men are the friends. Generally, it is the women and they leave the men behind. Even the women who are rivals, who hate one another ultimately may bond over their common plight.

I'm afraid my friends have come and gone. Come and gone like lovers are supposed to--new ones arise to take the place of old ones. The old ones remain friends whom I often don't see but of course love. Still, they no longer share my life. My lover, on the other hand, has stuck around. Still, I dream of that 'best friends forever' thing. Maybe always will. The "Louis" to walk with into the sunset.


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