What's the definition of marriage?

Marriage is defined as the union of a straight man and a straight woman...

Or not!

The emphasis on definition is so silly:

Sample sentence: Oh...a couple of my friends Bob and Phil got married last weekend. I can even say "Two of my friends--each of whom has a penis--were married last weekend."

Am I not allowed to say that?

Did you just understand the above sentences? I rest my case.

You might say: Wait! Where? But if I say "in Toronto" I think the question is easily answered.

I'm confused: You can actually pass a law that defines the word differently? And then what happens to the people who use the illicit definition? Hmmmm.

But hey, if you are so worried about definitions how come it doesn't bother you that the Massachusetts legislature can pass an amendment such that the constitution that demands equal treatment under the law now exempts one group of people living in Massachusetts from equal treatment?

It's so comforting to know that Democrats and Republicans all agree about one thing and that's gay people can't get married! Finally, something they can all agree on! Maybe the whole country can happily unite around this one compelling issue and all the rancor will finally fade away.