Wednesday, October 23, 2002

I think the imagined audience inspires many a web logger to flights of fancy. It is good not to remember that you are keeping this just for yourself. Except even in diaries people lie--even when they *know* people cannot find the diary...I believe every diarist always imagines discovery and prunes accordingly. There is always the car crash and post-mortum discovery or the nosy mom/dad/husband/wife/sister/brother/roomate. On the other hand, in spite of their seemingly public content the web log does not raise that problem. If I die tomorrow my web log will just vanish...it will be deleted and no one will ever know.

I'm keeping a meta web log it seems. I hate the meta level, but oh well.

This was all just a prologue to say: I've been looking at porn. I'm writing what I might hesitate perhaps to write in my diary cloaked both by anonymity and the assumption that blogger has 750,000 weblogs so no one will be reading mine. I went to site called (I think) www.conservativessuck.blogspot.com. And well...there were these links to pornography of nude females. Seemed like a good a reason as any. It said 'gotta love...' I wanted to know why I had to love them. And how rarely do I find the opportunity (which is apparently always present but yet does not present itself to me on a regular basis) to look at porn. But it was hardly porn. There were these nice tasteful shots of very nice attractive women and their very lovely bodies. I didn't find it sexually exciting. But it was exciting to realize that my breasts are nearly as good as theirs. On a good day. Ah, the girl's approach to porn. It is not that it doesn't give one pleasure to see human beauty in all its forms. But it doesn't matter to me if their clothes are on or off and when it gets raunchy then it is no longer pleasurable. They are being sprayed with water on (what I hope were) warm summer days and who doesn't like being sprayed with water on a warm summer day? Somehow water just tastes better when it enters your mouth from a hose on a hot day. They just looked happy and like they were having a whole lot of fun. I was more putting myself in their shoes and thinking how enjoyable it is to eat ice cream slowly in the heat...although I tend not to like my shorts to be so tight, but...It is fun to be naked and stand under waterfalls. Identifying with the moment while looking at the women and their enjoyable venues--Sort of like the wedding photos I like.

But gee that Monica Belluci sure is hot.

So that is the girl's approach to porn, I guess.

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