I dont' want to post my characters or plan anything in advance at all. This is a true stream of consciousness novel in every sense of the word. I don't even plan to go back and read what I wrote until it is done. Just seems more fun that way.

It's stirring up emotions in me though. What a weird thing. Well, not weird...Am I not queen of emotional reactions?

However, I should remind myself of crucial elements--the intensity of academic/school experience, the experience of psychadelics (sp?), the horror of the Reagan '80's esp. Central America. Somehow I have a half baked plan to meander in that direction. Hey, a bildungsroman should have it all.

No sex though. Don't want to overload myself on youthful experiences.

Well...50,000 words. Much longer than anything I've ever written in a sustained way. Why am I doing this except for the willful desire to ruin my life? Hmmmm. I do believe I don't really enjoy ruining my life. Rather...I like to go to the edge of ruin and pull back.

But...like the guy who played chicken in Rebel Without A Cause who goes over the cliff in his '52 Chevy there is always the time your sleeve gets stuck in the handle.

Must stop playing chicken with self. Yes...I will. Just as soon as I finish this 50,000 word novel.