Tuesday, January 21, 2003

Millions Face Starvation in Southern Africa

Hey man, I'm no Mother Theresa...

Of course, if you believe Christopher Hitchens, that's a good thing...(I don't, by the way.)

But...Does it ever make you sick that the world is such an abysmal place for some people? Does it ever drive you crazy that this is horrendously unfair?

I'm vain and selfish. I can drop $150 for beauty products...No, I can spend $300 a month for beauty products. And I only gave Oxfam $50.

Plus I'm broke. Please feel sorry for me too! Really, I don't spend $300 on beauty products...Really--not usually. It's just that I could.

But fuck it people! Oxfam does the work. They really are good--they are truly one of the most trustworthy and effective aid agencies. And people are dying. OK, people are always dying. I know, I know. But this is a case where people are dying for no reason other than screwy economics and bad luck.

I don't want to get into guilt mongering and all that other crap. Naturally! I want you to feel sorry for me too even though I am not starving but drive a broken down Toyota and avoid having children because I can't even afford to rent an apartment by myself.

I want your sympathy even though I have it so good...and I don't feel guilty, not really. I enjoy my relative affluence, reasonable security, astounding freedom with great gusto. I'm shameless...so you can see that even if you are selfish, lazy, self-pitying, on the edge of bankruptcy and utterly self-indulgent in consumer spending...you too can give to Oxfam.

It's just this simple: You can help. So what the hell? You have a credit card, I know you do. Sure...we don't have any ready cash on hand--who does?. (Or at least I don't.) Or we give to some other cause. But they accept credit cards! Pretend it's a bathmat or something.

GIVE MONEY TO OXFAM. HEY MAN, CHARGE IT, WHAT THE HELL.

Charge some food for the starving people in Africa...you might get frequent flyer miles! Just do it, OK?

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