'Splain me, Lucy...
I'm surfing this stupid internet world for hours today...It's like I'm looking for the answer: What will IT be like? What will this whole weird gigantic change caused by the human being bursting from my loins be like? OK, you got it...I'm googling and shit to predict the future. As if I can somehow prepare myself. There's this trick that the world has the answers...the answers are out there. All you must do is find the answers. Then--no matter the extent of the challenge--you will be fully prepared. Anything hard can be easy.
It's the Self Help Book Delusion. The American Psychological Association would not put this in the DSM III (or whatever # they are on now). They sorta want you to believe it.
I once wrote about how I spent this whole semester watching TV. I became this sit com junkie and then I thought: Why? Am I enjoying this? What is the point of this television absorption.
Then it hit me: I actually believed I might learn something about adult life from sit coms. It all seemed so confusing. And yet, people on sit coms seem to figure it out somehow. What was their secret. Also--dating shows. What might they reveal about human interaction? Is it something you can go on?
I should say in my defense that this belief was barely made conscious. I didn't literally watch television thinking that it held some kind of esoteric knowledge on human life. I just suddenly realized that that was what I was hoping to get out of it. When I realized that, it was easy to stop watching. (Well, OK, I had to put the TV into the basement.)
Not so easy with the internet for some reason. It really does contain certain juicy tidbits that can be misleadingly satisfying.
But it's the same thing with the internet. I'm scared I guess--or somehow I want mentally to tell myself it will be alright. All you hear are the horror stories.
And so...I merely torture myself more by reading the weblogs of other new parents. Oh, and reading childbirth stories...those are hell-of fun.
Then, in my fear and confusion I run to the absurd or utterly unconnected with procreation and below you see some of my results.
But can someone tell me why? No, really, I want to know. If this is so awful, why do we do it?
Oh, and while you are at it you might tell me why it is so awful--What I mean isn't 'because you never sleep and have this fragile being whose life depends totally on you, etc.' No, please justify the awfulness. Or explain how the human race managed to evolve or go forward with this kind of strike against it. E.g., that infants are a nightmare sent to you from hell.
Oration at Malcolm's funeral
Louder than a chainsaw at arm's length.
How Crazy Would I Have To Make My Signature Before Someone Would Actually Notice? This one's quite funny.
from Dooce
Osama Bin Laden Found Inside Each One of Us
Galumpia: Adult...Adults Only! Do click on the photos...It's better than you think.
from The Presurfer
This is a guy's site about his crazy mother. And this could happen to me...or maybe to any of us?
from Kerewin's Whine Cellar
I'm surfing this stupid internet world for hours today...It's like I'm looking for the answer: What will IT be like? What will this whole weird gigantic change caused by the human being bursting from my loins be like? OK, you got it...I'm googling and shit to predict the future. As if I can somehow prepare myself. There's this trick that the world has the answers...the answers are out there. All you must do is find the answers. Then--no matter the extent of the challenge--you will be fully prepared. Anything hard can be easy.
It's the Self Help Book Delusion. The American Psychological Association would not put this in the DSM III (or whatever # they are on now). They sorta want you to believe it.
I once wrote about how I spent this whole semester watching TV. I became this sit com junkie and then I thought: Why? Am I enjoying this? What is the point of this television absorption.
Then it hit me: I actually believed I might learn something about adult life from sit coms. It all seemed so confusing. And yet, people on sit coms seem to figure it out somehow. What was their secret. Also--dating shows. What might they reveal about human interaction? Is it something you can go on?
I should say in my defense that this belief was barely made conscious. I didn't literally watch television thinking that it held some kind of esoteric knowledge on human life. I just suddenly realized that that was what I was hoping to get out of it. When I realized that, it was easy to stop watching. (Well, OK, I had to put the TV into the basement.)
Not so easy with the internet for some reason. It really does contain certain juicy tidbits that can be misleadingly satisfying.
But it's the same thing with the internet. I'm scared I guess--or somehow I want mentally to tell myself it will be alright. All you hear are the horror stories.
And so...I merely torture myself more by reading the weblogs of other new parents. Oh, and reading childbirth stories...those are hell-of fun.
Then, in my fear and confusion I run to the absurd or utterly unconnected with procreation and below you see some of my results.
But can someone tell me why? No, really, I want to know. If this is so awful, why do we do it?
Oh, and while you are at it you might tell me why it is so awful--What I mean isn't 'because you never sleep and have this fragile being whose life depends totally on you, etc.' No, please justify the awfulness. Or explain how the human race managed to evolve or go forward with this kind of strike against it. E.g., that infants are a nightmare sent to you from hell.
Oration at Malcolm's funeral
Louder than a chainsaw at arm's length.
How Crazy Would I Have To Make My Signature Before Someone Would Actually Notice? This one's quite funny.
from Dooce
Osama Bin Laden Found Inside Each One of Us
Galumpia: Adult...Adults Only! Do click on the photos...It's better than you think.
from The Presurfer
This is a guy's site about his crazy mother. And this could happen to me...or maybe to any of us?
from Kerewin's Whine Cellar
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