Excuses To Self
Lots of people who have mastered the art of making excuses to others fail to grasp the subtle craft involved in making excuses to oneself. This is tragic because in fact making excuses to yourself and believing them is the way not only to peace of mind and joy but to absolute and total credibility with others.
Hobbes (or it may have been Mr. T) claimed that the fool sayeth in his heart he can get away with everything. That's why he's a fool. As smart as Hobbes is, he just didn't get it...Or maybe the things is if you aren't a fool then credibility is within your grasp because you are smart enough to make good excuses and stick to them.
The thing is...later, I'll explain why making excuses is not lying but at the moment I just want to illustrate an explanation of one reason why excuses to yourself are necessary and how they work.
One of the major reason excuses to yourself are necessary is unless you are a sociopath (Lucky you! Just disregard everything I say here then. You don't need any help at all. In fact, you could probably teach us a thing or two.) you probably feel a lot of guilt. Most people have this guilt around the edges. For some of us guilt permeates our whole existence. We just aren't doing what we are supposed to be doing. Some of us never do or have done what we are supposed to do. We're just a little bit bad, a little bit pathetic aren't we?
Sure, we try sometimes but for some odd reason trying just doesn't count as much as you think it should. If we were just measuring what we can be responsible for making excuses might even become unnecessary. Since it is quite possible we aren't responsible for much.
But I digress. Essentially, making excuses to yourself becomes necessary when there is something that is quite lovely and there are no serious moral objections to it but mere puritanical prohibitions. Eating rich food, having sex all day instead of doing any of the chores or errands, masturbating in nearly every free moment, spending too much money acquiring things of beauty.
Now you may be asking yourself...What if there are serious moral prohibitions? What if I want to hurt someone for example? Obvious case that springs to mind where people rarely need any help making excuses: Adultery, Sexual Infidelity, etc.
Look, I can't make you good. If you are going to believe your own excuses when doing something bad to someone else then frankly you just haven't thought the thing through. The reason excuses aren't lying is that excuses--especially those you make to yourself--are true...in a manner of speaking, in a sense. Well, I'll explain it later. I want to get to examples now.
Example: You feel guilty because you spent too much money. You feel guilty for enjoying yourself...for eating delicious food, for buying things of beauty, for indulging your senses, for travelling to foreign countries where life is exciting.
First: You have to ask yourself--Why do I feel guilty? If the answer isn't because you really hurt someone but is because you are supposed to do something different...you are supposed to be a certain way...there is a certain boring norm you can't psychically dodge...Then it's time for a good excuse.
Historical examples are always effective, although they often require a certain amount of research. There are just too many to go into but frankly...let's talk about the Romans. How much do you think they spent on home decor. Oh ho my friend. Do you think mosaics come cheaply. You think they didn't go into debt. They went into debt pal, far into debt.
And our best dressed (but perhaps most tragically hypocritcal) president. Yes, I'm talking about the great Thomas Jefferson. Died in debt. Massive debt. But was his house cool. Yeah, way cool. Have you compared Mt. Vernon to Jefferson's house. Washington didn't die in debt and let's face it--his house sucked. (OK, he did free his slaves at death and Jefferson's were sold to pay off his debts. But you won't have that problem.)
Lots of people who have mastered the art of making excuses to others fail to grasp the subtle craft involved in making excuses to oneself. This is tragic because in fact making excuses to yourself and believing them is the way not only to peace of mind and joy but to absolute and total credibility with others.
Hobbes (or it may have been Mr. T) claimed that the fool sayeth in his heart he can get away with everything. That's why he's a fool. As smart as Hobbes is, he just didn't get it...Or maybe the things is if you aren't a fool then credibility is within your grasp because you are smart enough to make good excuses and stick to them.
The thing is...later, I'll explain why making excuses is not lying but at the moment I just want to illustrate an explanation of one reason why excuses to yourself are necessary and how they work.
One of the major reason excuses to yourself are necessary is unless you are a sociopath (Lucky you! Just disregard everything I say here then. You don't need any help at all. In fact, you could probably teach us a thing or two.) you probably feel a lot of guilt. Most people have this guilt around the edges. For some of us guilt permeates our whole existence. We just aren't doing what we are supposed to be doing. Some of us never do or have done what we are supposed to do. We're just a little bit bad, a little bit pathetic aren't we?
Sure, we try sometimes but for some odd reason trying just doesn't count as much as you think it should. If we were just measuring what we can be responsible for making excuses might even become unnecessary. Since it is quite possible we aren't responsible for much.
But I digress. Essentially, making excuses to yourself becomes necessary when there is something that is quite lovely and there are no serious moral objections to it but mere puritanical prohibitions. Eating rich food, having sex all day instead of doing any of the chores or errands, masturbating in nearly every free moment, spending too much money acquiring things of beauty.
Now you may be asking yourself...What if there are serious moral prohibitions? What if I want to hurt someone for example? Obvious case that springs to mind where people rarely need any help making excuses: Adultery, Sexual Infidelity, etc.
Look, I can't make you good. If you are going to believe your own excuses when doing something bad to someone else then frankly you just haven't thought the thing through. The reason excuses aren't lying is that excuses--especially those you make to yourself--are true...in a manner of speaking, in a sense. Well, I'll explain it later. I want to get to examples now.
Example: You feel guilty because you spent too much money. You feel guilty for enjoying yourself...for eating delicious food, for buying things of beauty, for indulging your senses, for travelling to foreign countries where life is exciting.
First: You have to ask yourself--Why do I feel guilty? If the answer isn't because you really hurt someone but is because you are supposed to do something different...you are supposed to be a certain way...there is a certain boring norm you can't psychically dodge...Then it's time for a good excuse.
Historical examples are always effective, although they often require a certain amount of research. There are just too many to go into but frankly...let's talk about the Romans. How much do you think they spent on home decor. Oh ho my friend. Do you think mosaics come cheaply. You think they didn't go into debt. They went into debt pal, far into debt.
And our best dressed (but perhaps most tragically hypocritcal) president. Yes, I'm talking about the great Thomas Jefferson. Died in debt. Massive debt. But was his house cool. Yeah, way cool. Have you compared Mt. Vernon to Jefferson's house. Washington didn't die in debt and let's face it--his house sucked. (OK, he did free his slaves at death and Jefferson's were sold to pay off his debts. But you won't have that problem.)
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