The American People Are Just ITCHING to Go To War
To go to war with France, that is.
Now what's this all about? Watching those with nuclear weapons, etc. we forgot those who have an even more powerful and more deadly weapon. A weapon that makes us want to do away with them without pity. For it is impossible to pity them such as they are. We cannot mourn their deaths or care for their welfare.
Why? Because they have this one deadly ability. An ability that sucks all the empathy from our hearts.
I'm talking about the ability to be really, really snide.
This guy wants a war with France
QUOTE: "I believe that this nation will only go to war with "Brown People". Who was the last "white" country we fought? Germany? How many "brown people" have we fought since? (We need a good old fashioned war with the French or English again. Like back in the old days. Bloody british, with their silly accents, and their silly tea. Ooh! Ooh! How about Canada! Yeah...) Ahem. Sorry."
More evidence for the growing hostility.
They might have been kidding...But Ann Coulter just comes right out and says it...What we all think, way deep inside.
And we have to understand why...Here are some reasons hard to argue against:
(1) We just need a war, any war. It doesn't really matter who with. Once everyone sees our weaponry...They sure as heck won't mess with us...Uh, at least not directly. They might mess with us in a really sneaky way. Like by blowing up something we all hold dear. But not directly they wouldn't!
Yes, the Iraquis have some cherry bomb/pipe bomb like piddly thing hidden away that we can blow totally out of proportion. Smashing them to bits in a heartless and unjustified way would show we mean business!
But the French are UPPITY. We'll see how much they complain about the encroachment of English into colloquial French after we've hit them with a few of those daisy cutters.
(2) Deep in our hearts we know that all of Iraq will happily come to the land of the free and the home of the brave. They will weep with joy to eat Top Ramen, sob with gratitude for the gift of one single pat of butter.
The French don't WANT to come here. And they wouldn't deign to eat our food. They would walk through our glistening Safeway/Costco/Sam's Club with a sneer on their face. The butter would make them gasp in horror. Even Land O' Lakes isn't good enough for the French.
They've defied us far more than Iraq ever has or ever will.
(3) It's depressing to attack the Iraquis. They are starving to death and living under the yoke of a brutal regime combined with a brutal embargo--after being one of the most developed and well-educated countries in the Middle East. After having an extraordinary cultural history going back thousands of years, they are beat. We see it in their eyes. We know if we bomb some formula making factory thousands of babies might die of hunger (although we can conveniently ignore this fact...it does sort of gnaw at the edges of one's conscience).
The French on the other hand think they are the shit. They think they are on top of their game. They are well-fed, smug, self-satisfied. We won't have to feel depressed and guilty when we bomb their foie gras factories or whatever
(4) The Iraqis will make us feel superior. We'll break them down, then build them back up. We'll show everyone just what 700 billion dollars can do.
The French make us feel inferior...They are such ingrates. We save their butts in WWII and what do we get for it? Just a bunch of cultural critiques, moral critiques and ridicule. Ridicule that is easy to translate into English. Plus, we already KNOW they have nuclear weapons!
(If you do ever feel inferior to the French...for real...I suggest you go here.)
I'm against war. I want to stop this war. The way things are going, it's is going to be incredibly difficult. We all know what a prophetess Ann Coulter is.
Besides being a major babe who can get many men to fall helpless at her feet. If she wants it, I tell ya...it's going to happen.
I'm trying so hard to think of reasons to defend the French. I want to say "but some of my best friends are French." Then I realize: I have had friends from virtually every European country and most of the 'big' Asian, South American and lots of African countries.
(Thanks to a kindly person who I presume is from one of these countries who commented below I will edit to say I also have friends who hail from: Australia, French Polynesia, Iceland and New Zealand. None of these countries are in Africa However, I do believe one can visit Africa from any of these countries. But I don't know if there are direct flights or what. You'll have to figure that out for yourself.)
Seriously. It's like a real U.N. when I give a party at my house.
Even with all this intercultural contact, I have never, ever had a single French friend.
Once I met this really nice girl from France. I said "Wow. You're just so nice! I didn't know French people could be that nice." She said: "I'm not really French. I grew up in France but my family is Hungarian." In fact, she told me the French really aren't nice! Not even to her! A native French speaker.
Not nice... What better justification could we have for a war? In fact, isn't this the real reason we always go to war? To make everyone just a little bit nicer?
I kept meeting wonderful, kind people in Paris.
They always turned out to be from Afghanistan or something.
Oh, dear.
Then I remembered: My best friend's stepmother is French and her dad is a real Francophile.
But then I remembered again how my husband and my favorite activity around them is to amuse them with our American stupidity...We say just those things that will evoke snideness and then pretend to be utterly unaware of it.
So they won't be a good example to save France with.
Oh! There's this other friend of mine...actually two friends--they both live in France!
Except they only date Algerians.
There was the French New Wave.
But there is also the movie Un Coeur en hiver .
And then there is Balzac, Stendahl, Rousseau, Voltaire.
But there's also Lacan, Derrida, DeMan, and Helene Cixous.
Well, there's still Foucault. Maybe only Foucault can save them now. I hope so.
To go to war with France, that is.
Now what's this all about? Watching those with nuclear weapons, etc. we forgot those who have an even more powerful and more deadly weapon. A weapon that makes us want to do away with them without pity. For it is impossible to pity them such as they are. We cannot mourn their deaths or care for their welfare.
Why? Because they have this one deadly ability. An ability that sucks all the empathy from our hearts.
I'm talking about the ability to be really, really snide.
This guy wants a war with France
QUOTE: "I believe that this nation will only go to war with "Brown People". Who was the last "white" country we fought? Germany? How many "brown people" have we fought since? (We need a good old fashioned war with the French or English again. Like back in the old days. Bloody british, with their silly accents, and their silly tea. Ooh! Ooh! How about Canada! Yeah...) Ahem. Sorry."
More evidence for the growing hostility.
They might have been kidding...But Ann Coulter just comes right out and says it...What we all think, way deep inside.
And we have to understand why...Here are some reasons hard to argue against:
(1) We just need a war, any war. It doesn't really matter who with. Once everyone sees our weaponry...They sure as heck won't mess with us...Uh, at least not directly. They might mess with us in a really sneaky way. Like by blowing up something we all hold dear. But not directly they wouldn't!
Yes, the Iraquis have some cherry bomb/pipe bomb like piddly thing hidden away that we can blow totally out of proportion. Smashing them to bits in a heartless and unjustified way would show we mean business!
But the French are UPPITY. We'll see how much they complain about the encroachment of English into colloquial French after we've hit them with a few of those daisy cutters.
(2) Deep in our hearts we know that all of Iraq will happily come to the land of the free and the home of the brave. They will weep with joy to eat Top Ramen, sob with gratitude for the gift of one single pat of butter.
The French don't WANT to come here. And they wouldn't deign to eat our food. They would walk through our glistening Safeway/Costco/Sam's Club with a sneer on their face. The butter would make them gasp in horror. Even Land O' Lakes isn't good enough for the French.
They've defied us far more than Iraq ever has or ever will.
(3) It's depressing to attack the Iraquis. They are starving to death and living under the yoke of a brutal regime combined with a brutal embargo--after being one of the most developed and well-educated countries in the Middle East. After having an extraordinary cultural history going back thousands of years, they are beat. We see it in their eyes. We know if we bomb some formula making factory thousands of babies might die of hunger (although we can conveniently ignore this fact...it does sort of gnaw at the edges of one's conscience).
The French on the other hand think they are the shit. They think they are on top of their game. They are well-fed, smug, self-satisfied. We won't have to feel depressed and guilty when we bomb their foie gras factories or whatever
(4) The Iraqis will make us feel superior. We'll break them down, then build them back up. We'll show everyone just what 700 billion dollars can do.
The French make us feel inferior...They are such ingrates. We save their butts in WWII and what do we get for it? Just a bunch of cultural critiques, moral critiques and ridicule. Ridicule that is easy to translate into English. Plus, we already KNOW they have nuclear weapons!
(If you do ever feel inferior to the French...for real...I suggest you go here.)
I'm against war. I want to stop this war. The way things are going, it's is going to be incredibly difficult. We all know what a prophetess Ann Coulter is.
Besides being a major babe who can get many men to fall helpless at her feet. If she wants it, I tell ya...it's going to happen.
I'm trying so hard to think of reasons to defend the French. I want to say "but some of my best friends are French." Then I realize: I have had friends from virtually every European country and most of the 'big' Asian, South American and lots of African countries.
(Thanks to a kindly person who I presume is from one of these countries who commented below I will edit to say I also have friends who hail from: Australia, French Polynesia, Iceland and New Zealand. None of these countries are in Africa However, I do believe one can visit Africa from any of these countries. But I don't know if there are direct flights or what. You'll have to figure that out for yourself.)
Seriously. It's like a real U.N. when I give a party at my house.
Even with all this intercultural contact, I have never, ever had a single French friend.
Once I met this really nice girl from France. I said "Wow. You're just so nice! I didn't know French people could be that nice." She said: "I'm not really French. I grew up in France but my family is Hungarian." In fact, she told me the French really aren't nice! Not even to her! A native French speaker.
Not nice... What better justification could we have for a war? In fact, isn't this the real reason we always go to war? To make everyone just a little bit nicer?
I kept meeting wonderful, kind people in Paris.
They always turned out to be from Afghanistan or something.
Oh, dear.
Then I remembered: My best friend's stepmother is French and her dad is a real Francophile.
But then I remembered again how my husband and my favorite activity around them is to amuse them with our American stupidity...We say just those things that will evoke snideness and then pretend to be utterly unaware of it.
So they won't be a good example to save France with.
Oh! There's this other friend of mine...actually two friends--they both live in France!
Except they only date Algerians.
There was the French New Wave.
But there is also the movie Un Coeur en hiver .
And then there is Balzac, Stendahl, Rousseau, Voltaire.
But there's also Lacan, Derrida, DeMan, and Helene Cixous.
Well, there's still Foucault. Maybe only Foucault can save them now. I hope so.
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