I have this terrible problem...

When I say "I won't do x" this makes me do it. It's very terrible. If someone says "don't do that" I also need to do it. If they say "do that" then I won't do it.

But the problem is I try to trick myself. I say "Miel, don't do that!" when I really need to do something. But because I am Miel it doesn't work. Like if I can't work--I say "Work!" and then I can't work. Then I think ah hah! I will trick myself! I will say "don't work!" But I never fall for it. I can also figure out when people aren't really sincere.

I basically judge whether I should or shouldn't do something if it is rational or in my interests. If doing it is rational/in my interests: I won't do it. If doing it generally leads to some kinda trouble: I do it right away.

Thus when I said: I won't pander anymore...well, it just made me want to pander and pander some more.

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