Wednesday, December 18, 2002

Results of Secret Experiment Revealed

I tremble with anxiety as I have decided to reveal the results of the secret experiment I have been running on this blog.

I realize that it is unethical to experiment on human subjects without their informed consent. I hope that you will forgive me once you hear my reasons.

Main reason: Well, it was just too much trouble to get your consent.

Plus, you might have said 'no.'

However, I am going to come clean about the experiment...and explain my reasons for performing it here.

You see, I have no money. I have hope in only one thing: Maneki-neko the magic beckoning cat.

Yes, the magic beckoning cat...El chico first turned me on to the magical powers of the magical beckoning cat. I have a blue one in my study ‘for success.’ Traditionally, MN is supposed to bring you money…but I thought: I wonder what MN would do for blogstats?

The results have been incredible…better than I ever imagined they would be. My blogstats have tripled since putting MN on.

Here is a snapshot of the other day to illustrate the remarkable increase:

Of course, one might say: It was the story about the girl obsessed with the Hitachi magic wand that brought them all here. And they didn’t even read your blog anyway.

In fact, one thing that endlessly fascinates me: How can people come to my blog for zero seconds? Is not zero seconds a non-visit? Does it not take a fraction of a second to peruse the blog and move onward? Are laws of time and space being defied here?

Maneki-neko does have his/her limits, I warn you. Otherwise, this blog would be the most visited blog in the history of blogdom.

Rather, it works in a more random and gentle fashion, similar to the way Chinese medicine works perhaps.'

Of course, after MN archived I got even more visits to my what does that mean? Perhaps the presence of MN simply works wherever it happens to be?

Yes, yes, that’s all true. But it does not disprove the power of MN because that’s the way MN works—randomly…and it is only effective with respect to numbers: You cannot receive the intangible through the magic beckoning cat. You might put MN in your house and hope you will get a raise but instead you will win the lottery or something. Thus, my impromptu posting of that idiotic magic wand story was merely the blog equivalent of hitting the numbers. (It doesn’t make you rich—just gives you enough to buy a fur coat and the down payment on a lease for a Lexus.)

Of course, one problem that arose is I'm not entirely sure I wanted people to "read" (or visit momentarily) my blog. But this problem is easy to solve.

And now I can get rid of my site meter. So unseemly I know! To monitor your presence in this furtive way. However, I currently use it to figure out what day it is so I may have to wait a bit on that until I'm more 'caught up' on things. (And don't say: Use a calendar...a calendar does not tell you what day it is NOW. Duh.)


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