Monday, February 10, 2003

Oh, oops! I forgot about rage..

Rage as a cure for sorrow. I remember when I first discovered this...A friend had been mean to me periodically and it used to make me sooo sad...

Then one day I decided to hate her.

It was the first time I'd ever hated anyone. It was the first time I ever had full awareness of the power of anger and resentment. It was such a nice distraction and a much more powerful feeling. I enjoyed it, in fact.

I'm slow to anger but once I get started whoooo boy. goes...I'm feeling blue and low down (something I don't think anyone should admit to but I need to explain the following...although overall context will remain unclear to anyone but me):

Fuck you! You fucking pissant asswipes!

First, fuck you you lousy people in this lousy world--country, what have you--that when someone is sick and might die you barely even care. Are you too busy shopping fuckers?

And you goddamn people with your smug lives who never reach out to anyone in need....Who run away from any trouble....

And you bastard warmongers!!!

And anyone who wants to tell me what to do and who is going to mess up my life....

Go to hell!!! All of you!!!

Yeah, yeah.

OK, now I'm really embarassed. Sorry.


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