Wednesday, February 05, 2003


Is this a cheap ploy for attention?

No, this article about sexless marriages truly frightened me and made me think about sex.

I was remembering how my friends in college had sex with dozens of people. It was a badge of honor. By the time we were sophomores my hottest friend--the superbabe--had had sex with 63 different men.

I was envious--yet she assured me that it was nothing to be proud of. I doubted that since what I envied was not the pleasure she might have had but the guts it seemed to take. I was a shy girl, myself. She kept a list. There were--of course--some question marks on it. Who can remember 63 different men? Most of my friends by that time were in the double digits. The pressure on me to 'catch up'--at least a bit--was enormous. I never did. I had this terrible problem: I could never have sex with anyone who wasn't both highly intelligent and compassionate. This cut down the pool of potential sexual partners considerably.

(I found out later that intelligence and compassion made people sexually attractive but not always very good to hang out with afterwards.)

I remember one of my friends was cheating on her boyfriend with one of his friends. And I said to her 'well he seems so sweet and he is good looking but he isn't very smart is he?' I genuinely liked him but I was naive enough to believe that intelligence was one of the crucial features one looks for in sexual partners. After I said this, she found herself unable to maintain her interest in him and yelled at me later 'Why did you tell me that! It ruined it!' Later it all became a horrid mess when her boyfriend found out, etc.

The friend who slept with 63 men by the age of 19 later told me that she was sick of having sex altogether. She was thinking of becoming a lesbian so it would continue to be interesting to her, or fun...I don't quite remember what was missing for her.

I'll never forget my friend who was so beautiful all the rock stars wanted to sleep with her cheating on her boyfriend with his brother. She and the boyfriend were supposed to be super-enlightened so when she caught some sort of conjunctivitis or VD or something from her boyfriend's brother she actually yelled at the boyfriend for not telling her--after he found out she'd slept with his brother--that the brother had a communicable disease and she needed to see a doctor.

These rules were confusing to me such that when I spent the week at their house and her roomate's boyfriend tried to sleep with me I simply got up and ran away. I assumed the roomate would not want me to sleep with her boyfriend. Apparently, it would have been alright. In fact, the roomate liked me quite alot and thought I was a great candidate to sleep with her boyfriend since she liked to sleep around on him and wanted a 'nice girl' to help him catch up.

I miss my girlfriend who used to have sex with strange men in the stacks of the library and on airplanes. (I have lots of gay guy friends who do this...but it is much rarer for girls.)

Anyway...many of my friends who lived such exciting lives in fact aren't that into sex anymore. Some of my married friends who slept with a different guy every weekend in college said they barely ever have sex. I find this quite bizarre. Perhaps the periods of celibacy I voluntarily endured because of my shyness and inability to be attracted to many of those who surrounded me make me horrified at the thought of a celibate marriage.

Of course, I don't hang around with wild people anymore. Everyone I now know is a square and although they cheat they go to great lengths to hide it. I remember saying at a party with some of these squares: "I do want to get married. If you don't get married, who will you have sex with when you are old?"

They were genuinely shocked--I realized I've come down in the world with respect to my social life. I so prefer the wild people but where do you find people like that these days?

I thought I would search for all the links on my computer that I have about sex but there are probably some thrown in here that are non-sex related.

I'm obsessed with sex

I'm obsessed with sex

Stupid I'm obsessed with sex joke

Teens: Prostitution is best avoided

Caligula's budget orgy calculator

creating cleavage photo section (warning: icky, very icky)

Diary/blog of a porn publisher (also icky but somewhat more engaging)

Game: Match the nipples!

Museum of ancient beastial art

Nude paint by number

Pimp It: The Shopping Page

Bigfoot ruined my sex life

Statue molesters

Earth erotica

Farm Sluts (fox searchlight)


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