Getting a grip...

I should mention that this "raging psychopath" as so well described on sleeve-notes is purely a product of my imagination. I do recall the 'bad relationship obsession' from some limited personal experience...but mostly it is an elaboration, a pastiche of every bad relationship story I've ever heard. I could never be so self-destructive as to date someone as insane as this administration.

My very sane and kind husband has been trying to help me by concealing news from me a little but it is difficult not to look. In a way I guess it is less rubbernecking than hope--some kind of hope that things are not as bad as I imagine. This is the strangest thing of all--my imagination is so full of vivid and terrible images. When awake there are awful pictures in my mind and when asleep strange nightmares.

We often joke around that Bush and Co. are like Darth Vadar "I WILL BRING OOORRRDDEEER TO THE GALAXY!" So my nightmares are a combination of Star Wars and war movies I've seen and whatever I think Bagdad looks like. Modern cinder block torn to bits much like Warsaw in the movie The Pianist I saw last month.

This is what it looks like in the movie.

I suppose if I watched television or had television my mind would be filled with less of a movie-inspired montage of this sort? The idea of it makes me queasy so sitting and watching it is out of the question. Are they even showing it--the smashing up of streets, homes, and all the rest? Of course they are, I guess. Is everyone out there watching it? Isn't it making you sick?

So...just as one has to take control of one's life when one is married to the crazed madman who takes the schoolbus full of children hostage I should also strive to return to something resembling sanity--being consumed with fear, frustration, rage, nausea does no good. It's sort of self-indulgent, in fact.

Of course I've been writing many screeds and rants in my spare time. Being considerate and not posting them.

What will be useful? Going to protests won't change things, but I'll keep doing that. Giving money to anti-war causes, opponents that seem effective...That kind of thing. Please go to sleeve notes and look at the plan to make corporations in charge of rebuilding.

Maybe one could--right now--start an 'Iraq fund.' How silly that sounds, I know. Ultimately, we should try and give money to any decent NGOs who are willing to subvert this corporate plan and go to Iraq and do something to benefit ordinary Iraqis--when the keys to the kingdom are handed over to some oligarchy which is amenable to U.S. corporate interests.

Afghanistan could use some of your money also. In fact, Afghanistan could use all of your money. check out Oxfam

Oxfam UK is asking for donations for Iraq.

Oxfam International

Oxfam has had the guts to oppose the war and to fight to get the U.N. involved in rebuilding Iraq. (Unlike Amnesty which will not take a stand. Do they only care about people in prison? And no other human rights abuses? Very strange.)

Some stuff from Human Rights Watch I don't know that much about HRW. But this is a start.

All these plans are so little but I am also little and this is the best I can come up with. If you think of anything better, let me know.