Saturday, March 15, 2003

What is it about bellybuttons anyway?

I hate to give free advertising but I suddenly realized I always find myself staring at this picture. Is it some kind of turn on or something?

But it's for women...It's like this secret plot to turn us on with each other?

I'm just foolin'...Anyway, I was thinking today that gay men come up with all these varieties of sexy men to be that includes fat men, old men, etc. 'Bears,' 'Daddies'...But there aren't all these varieties of sexy women to be if you are straight. Why do gay men want all this variety and straight men seem to go for pretty much all the same thing? Lesbians have a bit of a variety thing going too. Well, there are those straight men who have a thing for fat girls (or so I've heard). But it's so few and far between. There are whole clubs devoted to gay men and their sexual creativity. What do straight men go for? Flat stomachs...That's it for sexy when it comes to us. And then straight women aren't too creative either. We have either totally invisible or totally anemic taste. No clubs for us! No fetishes for big fat men with beards or little short men with tiny feet or nothin' Where is our creativity girls?

It's kind of embarassing, actually. I read the other day that 'gay is the new straight.' I do so wish straight people would get with the program and think up something new. C'mon you straight people! Must we all be so damn boring? If we try and spice up the menu it all of a sudden seems kinda creepy. When gay people say things like "I found me a daddy..." it seems fun and playful and adventurous. If I had some kinda daddy thing my women friends would recommend psychological counseling. It would be years of therapy for me.

As I mentioned previously, I really feel the lack of a fetish. All the sudden I think: I'm so uncool! The fetishes that seem open to me are also boring as well. Boring 'cause they aren't funny enough. I want a funny fetish! The 'bear' thing--that's funny! The best I can do is say: I have a thing for this stomach. And that's merely a product of indoctrination and advertising.

Oh, being end up feeling so left out.


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