Friday, September 19, 2003

Another reason not to delete spam...

As I mentioned before I don't delete the spam immediately because I couldn't come up with greater names for fictional characters than those invented by the whacky witty spamsters...

The Sweazy Parleveccio story is still in the works.

But now I can use spam for baby names! Baby names. It's such a fascinating notion. So arbitrary. If you call your baby 'table' long enough that becomes his/her name. And yet so much power.

I guess the daunting thing is my fear that my baby's future chances of getting laid depend on his name. I think: If it's a boy what name can I give him to make sure he gets lucky? And no one beats his ass? My husband of course is very on board with these priorities.

He has scrawny nerdy parents. The kid already needs help.

Leon. I'm so into Leon. But people look at me with horror. I don't know. Because it's a black name for a non-black baby? and so it's either (a) politically incorrect or (b) too black or (c) just plain weird. Who cares? It's so tough. Leons don't keep their virginity 'til they're in their twenties. Leons don't get beat up. Leons kick ass. Not Leon Spinx but

Still, lots of charming options arrive everyday in Spam. E.g., I got an email today from 'Happiness Bangurrah.' And one from 'Quezada somebody.'

And what about 'Grav'...'Grav' That's cool! I'll bet you've never heard that one before. Still for now I'm stickin' with Leon 'til something more virile comes along.


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