Miel's Sister's Two Best Jokes

My sister tells a mean joke. Here are her two best:

Truth and Reality
Son asks his dad: "Dad. What's the difference between truth and reality?"
Dad doesn't answer but says "Go ask your sister if she'd sleep with anyone for $200,000.
So the son asks his sister and she says "Yes!"
Son comes back and says "Dad, she said yes. But what's the difference between truth and reality?"
Dad says: "Go and ask your mother if she'd sleep with anyone for one million dollars."
The son goes and asks his mother "Would you sleep with anyone for a million dollars?"
The mother says "Yes! Of course! Are you crazy?"
So the son comes back and says: "Dad I asked her. She said she would. But what's the difference between truth and reality?"
The dad says: "Well, son. The truth is we're sittin' on a gold mine but the reality is we're livin' with two whores."

The Snail

A man is sitting in his living room watching television. He hears a knock at the door. He looks down and sees the creature knocking is a snail. He picks the snail up and throws it as far as he possibly can.

A year goes by. Two.

Again, he is sitting in his living room. Hears a knock at the door. Answers it. It is the snail. The snail says "Now what was that all about?

OK--these jokes are out there in the world. And they may not be funny without her delivery. But she makes them surreal somehow and very funny.

I could devote my whole blog to this sister and how funny she is. I'm really missing my siblings right now...