I'm a very sensitive girl...

Sometimes when I read The Onion and they make fun of the 'pathetic people' that we are supposed to laugh at, it makes me cry instead.

Seriously. This story made me cry. I'm not sure I can read The Onion anymore. Especially when I only sleep 45 minutes the night before, but maybe never. The "Jean Teasdale" column makes me want to cry, too.

Damnit! I don't want to laugh at sad and lonely people...Someone who is sad, lonely and has a terrible job--This never makes me laugh. Can someone talk to those people? I like stories like this:

New Crispy Snack Cracker Relieves Crushing Pain of Modern Life

Russia's Closest Friends Ready To Try Military Intervention

Sniffing Glue Effective in Treatment of Adolescent Boredom

Study Reveals: Babies Are Stupid

Doctors Find New Way To Prolong Meaningless Existence

I had the same problem in Bowling With Columbine. I laughed and laughed until Michael Moore was mean to Charlton Heston. Then I just felt so sad. (I know...I usually say junk I don't mean but this is pathetically true...) Michael Moore always does that...He does something funny--even making fun of snooty rich people is OK...Then he does something mean--like making fun of people who develop this mental illness in Israel where they believe they are a Biblical figure.

As a child I could never stand to watch "I Love Lucy" or "Gilligan's Island" because Lucy and Gilligan were always getting into trouble. Especially Lucy. I just couldn't stand it when she did something dumb and Ricky yelled at her or she looked so foolish.

Yes, I'm a very sensitive girl I guess.