Tuesday, August 12, 2003

From the 'Did anyone think of this yet?' file

Journal of Ejaculatory Studies

Title: "Optimal Pressure And Release"

Abstract: A recent study of 400 men age 13-39 has shown that the following techniques to lead to optimal natural seratonin production while emiting sperm from the penile unit without the aid of a sentient partner. Optimal pressure occurs at 20-25 pounds per square inch applied with palm and at least 4 fingers above the containment sack. Movement should be at a rate of 3-4 strokes per second with a range of 2-3 inches in either direction. Care should be taken to have tissues in place at time of liquid exit to avoid unnecessary trips to the washing machine.

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