Thursday, September 25, 2003

You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals...
So let's do it like they do it on the Discovery Channel...

So I have no one to compare myself to in the motherhood department except these friends of mine who always, always, always wanted to be mommies. They are the perfect mommies--utterly transfixed by breast feeding and the like. I'm afraid I won't be in their league.

There is my own charmingly neglectful mother as a great role model. She always forgot to pick us up! Or to feed us breakfast and lunch!

True story: Once, my parents left me in the backseat of the car when I fell asleep. I woke up in the middle of the night in the car. I cried because I was only about 2 and didn't know how to pull the handle. The neighbor heard me and picked me up and woke up my parents and took me inside.

That's actually a mild story. There are much worse ones. I think my parents were just working too hard, tired and forgetful. But they may also have been drunk.

And yet we all turned out fine! In fact, I probably get along better with my parents than any of my friends do with their parents. I've yet to understand how all their children ended up fairly (and only fairly) normal. We all have high standardized test scores at least.

(Another reason to want a smart baby. I don't care if my kid is really, really smart because that's actually kind of a handicap for various reasons. I just want him to be smart enough so I don't have to do much. Like my brother. Spent his whole childhood watching TV and the kid's a genius with perfect SAT scores. I swear I can't recall my parents every reading him a bedtime story. He didn't need educational experiences. The kid's a self starter.)

When I really get nervous I tell myself: You are a mammal. Even the dumbest mammals seem to know what to do with their young. If cats can do it how hard can it be? Everyone know how stupid cats are...

Someone dared to say....

"You can't turn down a job you don't have."

He retorted: "Yes you can! The pre-emptive turn down! It's the oldest trick in the book..."

Monday, September 22, 2003

Clark ties with Bush (beats him slightly) in poll...

I wonder if they asked them who Clark WAS first...I'm kinda thinking maybe they didn't care.

Like on that show 'Dinosaurs' where the baby hits the daddy with the bottle and calls him 'not the mama!'

A possible story: Not-Bush beats Bush in poll...

Oh, I get it now...the people who oppose Bush are just jealous!

"Now comes George Bush asserting that American power will be used pre-emptively to avert terrorist attacks on America, to establish American values as universal values. This so profoundly challenges the activists' self-image that they can only lash out in anger. Not many of them actively hope the U.S. fails in Iraq, of course, but they are in a constant state of denial that it might succeed."

This columnist argues that the reason democrats 'hate Bush' is that they like to think of themselves as the 'moral, good people' and Bush has unfortunately stolen their thunder. He's the really good one

Or something. Man, the Wall Street Journal. Sometimes. Wow. I can't believe some of the things people get away with in the WSJ.

Sunday, September 21, 2003

Boarding is free for foreign yogis!

No evening meal but soft drinks are allowed...

Don't worry about the SLORC...Take a trip to Myanmar!