Thursday, August 14, 2003

An 2 week old Village Voice made me think about...

Hasidic Rebel

What's up with all those Asian prostitutes? They filled the last 10 pages...

How good I am at wasting time...
I know a few guys...

who were sad when the power went back on...I can think of a few now, actually.

Moving tip: Hiring young, nubile, buff, sweaty professional movers in the summertime? Need extra help? Two words: gay friends. If you don't want to hear complaints and in fact want to be heaped with gratitude--invite your gay friends to help you move.
In case you are into the underwear of the aristocracy...

Have you heard about the vintage underwear fetish? It is all the rage.

Wednesday, August 13, 2003

When is this going to be over?

Salam Pax tells us that G got beat up by the U.S. Army.

This is G's blog. He also takes great photos and this is what got him beat up...

But could there be any possible reason for it? Beating up someone who posed no threat? If they thought he was some kind of future terrorist at most they should investigate, not beat him up...For God's sake. This is a disgusting abuse of power--one of a number that I've heard of.

Is it legal for the U.S. army to do anything they like? Are there no restraints on their behavior beside reputation and world opinion?

I can't believe Bush claimed that his administration 'freed' two countries and 50 million people. I wasn't going to mention it here it was so ludicrous. What is this view of freedom? I'm scared if this is what they mean when they claim they value freedom.

When is this going to be over? Things are getting worse and worse. It is as if Iraq has been the whipping boy for the last 12 years. Why? If the U.S. has no intention of helping Iraqis then we really must leave them the hell alone.


Somehow ever since I heard about the houri
Seventeen? Is it seventeen white virgins?
Somehow I think it is more.
Never mind.
Those many translucent or is it transparent figures.
I imagine them without hands.
Who needs hands in paradise?
Or rather with fused pointed Barbie fingers
Fragile as Christmas tree ornaments
Cracking at the slightest touch.

Are they also filled with love, these houri?
Or empty as gongs?
Do they see you, through you, and adore you as you truly are?
Or are they only smiling automatons.
I'll never know.
No houri for me.
For a variety of reasons.

Caveat1: Please recall that my poetry is supposed to be humorous.
Caveat 2: This is not meant to be blasphemous, sacreligious, etc...People make jokes about angels. I read about the houri and was quite taken with the description but then realized the houri are out of my reach. So I make fun of my own yearning for perfect celestial beings that I can never see...OK, got it?

Tuesday, August 12, 2003

When was the last time you thought about the sun?

Really. The sun. Did you forget about it? How often do we really think about the sun. Given the importance of the sun it seems that we should think about it quite often! In fact, we should worship it...

Yet, who does these days? We just take the sun for granted. Like always.

(OK, that came out sounding a lot stupider than it did in my head. Isn't that the way with all profound thoughts?)
Bad, bad me...

Some people ditched me and don't refer me from their blogs now...Because I have been bad with the continuity thing. Sorry about that. It's hard to write and keep a blog because blogging is more fun than writing and when I finish I find that the tiny miniscule amount of motivation that spurs me to write has been spent on the blog.

My computer broke, I moved. But given that Raed blogs and Gee in Baghdad, etc. I realize those don't fly as extenuating circumstances.

But you don't understand...I want to be here, I want to write here in this place where no mistake or idiocy matters. A place without genuine consequences of any kind. Just...believe me.

An unexplained absence is likely to happen again. Thanks for understanding.
If you are being realistic a state of constant dread is the most rational attitude...

Bad things that can happen to you...

From the 'Did anyone think of this yet?' file

Journal of Ejaculatory Studies

Title: "Optimal Pressure And Release"

Abstract: A recent study of 400 men age 13-39 has shown that the following techniques to lead to optimal natural seratonin production while emiting sperm from the penile unit without the aid of a sentient partner. Optimal pressure occurs at 20-25 pounds per square inch applied with palm and at least 4 fingers above the containment sack. Movement should be at a rate of 3-4 strokes per second with a range of 2-3 inches in either direction. Care should be taken to have tissues in place at time of liquid exit to avoid unnecessary trips to the washing machine.

Monday, August 11, 2003

Yes, it happened...

We were going to see some really so-so movie the other night. Oh yeah, Lara Croft Tomb Raider. There was this crowd of cheering teenagers looking out the window. I thought the ruckus was about something happening in the street below....some drunk person stumbling along. Nah. The sharp eyed kids had apparently spotted naked flesh in the adjacent apartment building through partially closed blinds. I could see the naked flesh. Some guy with a slight paunch wearing pants bending over some set of legs or something. To judge from the whoops, shouts of encouragement and muttered whispers it was two men "really going at it!"

A crowd began to form. A very large crowd. Mostly drawn by the noise.

Hence the advice--close the drapes. Because you never know.

Oh yeah, Angelina Jolie is a beauty mutant. Of the famous people, she can stay. As long as she doesn't get back together with whats-his-name.

Sunday, August 10, 2003

Some advice...

If your apartment is located in a building with windows facing a public place. A movie theater, say. And this movie theater has many large windows facing your apartment. And you are having wild gay sex. I would suggest: Shut your blinds. All the way.

Or else 40 teenagers will be facing out the window, observing your fun....cheering you on in fact. Mostly girls, actually. Well, the girls were the loudest perhaps.

Just thought you might like to know.

Of course, you seem to have made their evening...