Friday, June 24, 2005

There's nothing good on

the internet right now. It's all reruns. So I guess I have to go to sleep. But it's only 2:15 a.m! C'mon you people write something funny.

Thursday, June 23, 2005

Wedding Vows

I rememberI wanted these vows from a Christopher Durang play in my wedding:

Do you take this woman
To amuse and annoy?
To frighten and destroy?
Until whatever time you cease to be interested?


then I dreamed of Marlon Brando as officiant:

Take a look at yourself here in a worn-out Mardi Gras outfit, rented for 50 cents from some rag-picker. And with a crazy crown on. Now what kind of a queen do you think you are? Do you know that I've been on to you from the start, and not once did you pull the wool over this boy's eyes? You come in here and you sprinkle the place with powder and you spray perfume and you stick a paper lantern over the light bulb - and, lo and behold, the place has turned to Egypt and you are the Queen of the Nile, sitting on your throne, swilling down my liquor. And do you know what I say? Ha ha! Do you hear me? Ha ha ha!

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Holy Crap

And I really mean it: Crap is holy in its way. It's biology. And what's cooler than that?

Besides cement?

Sorry, don't mind me. I just drank an entire bottle of wine. And Oh, My! Was it good! Was it? Why yes, yes it was.

It wasn't Night Train although I've heard raves about that.

No, it was Sangiovese Di Tosca


And only $4.99. What a bargain!

It appears to be signed by a guy named D'aquino Gaetano...But I'm a little too drunk to read it.

(Husband fell asleep. And yes, I let him sleep! Because otherwise I would have shared that bottle. And who wants that? Who? I ask you?

And people keep signing up to my notify list. Oh, do I do that thing again?

Stay tuned...I think I may have to start a new site just to eliminate the notify list. I seem to have forgotten the little I knew of http or whatever it's called.

I drink, yes. I drink. FOR HEALTH REASONS. And you should too. If you want to sleep until 2:30 pm each day. Why if you can sleep until 2:30 pm each day I highly recommend drinking for health reasons.