Besides making you cry, pregnancy--also gives you the giggles

This is a thing that made me laugh...so hard I worried the baby wasn't getting enough oxygen

Schizophrenic doing stand up...

Ignore anything "New Yorkerish" here. Why does the New Yorker context kill the humor? It's the idea: 'This humor is sophisticated...' or something.

Also saw "Bob Roberts." That movie is more brilliant than I remembered. And rather prophetic, actually. (Or as a character played by Jack Black says: 'prophestetic.' ) Our favorite song is the complaining song...

Our biggest fear? They'll start playing the songs on right wing radio...Yeah, the movie's just a little bit too realistic in parts.

Complete lyrics:

Some people must have.
Some people have not.
But they’ll complain and complain and complain and complain and complain.

Some people will work.
Some simply will not.
But they’ll complain and complain and complain and complain and complain.

Like this: It’s society’s fault I don’t have a job.
It’s society’s fault I am a slob.
I have potential no one can see.
Give me welfare. Let me be me!

Hey, Bud, you’re livin’ in the Land of the Free.
No one’s gonna hand you opportunity!

Some people must have.
Some never will.
But they’ll complain and complain and complain and complain and complain.

I don’t have a house. I don’t have a car.
I spend all my money getting’ drunk in a bar.
I wanna be rich. I don’t have a brain.
Just give me a handout while I complain.

Or this: I wanna stay in bed and watch TV.
Go out weekends in a limousine
And dance all night takin’ lots of drugs
And wake up when I wanna.

Hey, Bud, you’re livin’ in the Land of the Free.
No one’s gonna hand you opportunity!

Some people will learn.
Some never do.
But they’ll complain and complain and complain and complain and complain.
Yeah, they’ll complain and complain and complain and complain and complain.


from this site

Mo' Silly Stuff

kitty and freud.bmp

The unofficial no hands gallery (my favorite is the Freud one, above)

But they're all really funny...see 'catbang' for a classic take on an old theme.
from idletype

Songs inspired by Spam (the email kind)

from MiMi Smartypants

This entry by Kafkaesque made laugh so hard I think I hurt myself. But at least I didn't wet my pants. This is one of those 'pregnancy dangers.' So far, so good. But it's probably only a matter of time.

Yeah! Fetuses! They are such slackers.

Beyond the Valley of the Dolls Tarot Cards

This Howard Hollis guy is pretty silly

from Kafkaesque

The strange projects of this guy prompts a remark from Chico: "Some people have a lot of time on their hands..."
To which I say: "We should talk!" And he says: "No what I meant was he has a lot of time on his hands and he uses it productively."

Aaaahhh...I feel guilty. What are we supposed to do with all the time on our hands? I keep thinking that I'm supposed to be doing something else.

You might think: "Why does this biyotch have time on her hands? I don't got no time on my hands."

Hey, I've got news for you. We all have the exact same amount of time on our hands.

Duh.

It's just how you've filled it. So I'm going to have a baby and there it all goes. OK? Feel sorry for me now? I was planning on filling the time by going to movies, reading and staring off into space with brief interludes of work sufficient to continue going on goofing off. Not anymore! Still, it's a question whether any of this--or anything at all--is a good use of the time I have left (between 50 and 70 years I estimate).

Of course you can always starve yourself to live longer.

You live 40 years more maybe but then you spend the whole 40 years thinking about food.

It's a question that I can't even answer now.

What do we do with all that time. Is there something you are supposed to do or is hanging out really about it?

Of course, that's one reason to have a baby. That's it! The baby! Time's up...all gone. Not only is the question what to do with your time answered but it's likely you won't be thinking much anymore, either.

Let's see--the U.S. military will bring freedom to the world?

America: the freest country on earth. You're free to protest and the FBI is free to investigate you.

from open sewer

I'm sure someone's going "You're free damnit! And if you don't appreciate your damn freedom then you deserve to lose it!" That's the kind of freedom they like you to have--the freedom to go along with things...Hey, is there some other freedom you wanted?